I can’t listen to the Joshua Tree without thinking of you, not before, not now, not ever.
I didn’t ever really cry for you – but I carried your sadness with me for a long while.
I have never heard a sound on earth like the grief-moan let out by your wife.
I am stupefied at the depths of resilience inside the little self of darling Che.
I always enjoyed blowing your mind – and you always asked me to.
I’ll never forget that pain in the ass stupid car you had in high school that never worked, but looked really really cool – and you with your Ray-Bans all Mister Dude-man.
I will always be inspired by the purity of your love.
I still laugh at shit you said ten years ago.
I remember the time you saw me naked in the hot tub and how red your face got.
I think I knew the last time I saw you would be the last time I saw you.
I was not surprised when I got the call from Lisa, but I was surprised that I got the call.
I had an amazingly fucked-up weekend when you killed yourself – but I had to be there for you.
I can’t believe it’s been a year on earth without you, and I can’t believe what a profound year it has been.
If I look at you grinning and start singing “ . . . but I still haven’t found what I’m looking for . . .” I know you are laughing about it.
I miss you.
The Joshua Tree “Exit” by U2 (www.U2.com)
You know he got the cure
But then he went astray
He used to stay awake
To drive the dreams he had away.
He wanted to believe
In the hands of love.
His head it felt heavy
As he came across the land
A dog started cryin’
Like a broken-hearted man
At the howling wind
At the howling wind.
He went deeper into black
Deeper into white.
He could see the stars shine
Like nails in the night.
He felt the healing
Healing, healing, healing hands of love
Like the stars shiny, shiny from above.
A hand in the pocket
Fingering the steel
The pistol weighed heavy
And his heart he could feel was beating
Beating, beating, beating,
Oh my love, oh my love
Oh my love, oh my love.
So hands that build
Can also pull down
The hands of love.